Hey folks. I've been chugging away in no specific order at random panels trying to get some method to my sequential disaster and so far it's been interesting to say the least. I'd promise you, but in fear of breaking said promise, I'll just say that from here forward, I'm going to try and only post fully sequential, completed to some degree, pages.
Many thanks to the amazing
Christine Larsen for the great pointers on type! Larsen, I hope you don't mind, but you advice was way too good not to share with the people looking at this art, and hopefully I can make good on using this to my advantage.
"Hey Sam, I have a little concrit regarding these first few pages (at least, I think these are the first few pages). None of which has to do with the drawing or the actual prose, which I am enjoying thoroughly...
Page one (top img): That is a goddamn intimidating block of text, but so well written! Unfortunately, all the beats in that prose are utterly destroyed by setting it in one, justified block of type. It would have a better, more natural cadence if you (at least) broke it into paragraphs, or (even better) broke it up into several smaller text boxes to pepper in with the images, to help lead your humble readers through the page and add some punctuation to the images we are seeing (think how the language in "Goodfellas" or "Fear and Loathing adds to each scene. Each panel is sort of like that, especially since you've set up an aspect to aspect sequence).
As for what we are seeing, I was very confused that I never saw the narrator here. While I realize that you may not want to show his face (being that it gets all melty later), I had no idea who was narrating at first. I think that, perhaps, you may need a establishing shot here. Something wider so we can see the players...or at least give us a back of the head or hand on a beer.
Page two I have very little issue with, except that your type gets tough to decipher. Well...also, I don't know how I feel about the Portuguese translation in there...if he (meaning the narrator) understands Portuguese, why not just write it in English? Asterisk asides can take a reader out of the story, and this is a crucial moment where you don't want that to happen.
Page 3 is badass.
So, anyway, my 2 cents for what it is worth. The art for this is amazing Sam, and I will be really interested to read this story (whether you take my advice or not ;P). The horror noir is one very rarely done, and for some reason this has a darker Indiana Jones feel to it (that may just be me...)."
Without further adieu, some art:
The above is a clip from earlier on in the story. I'm not going to explain it. I'll just draw it for you sooner or later. Below, is a far too detailed, unfinished page, following a long dream-sequence. I wanted to sum up the burn-ward/healing or lack there of in one spread. Think of it more as brain-storming than an actual page.
The below also is just brain-storming. The second two of the panels look like shit. I'll fix that sooner or later.
Sorry for the small showing folks, but these past two weeks have been packed with other projects. Keep an ear to the ground, more is coming!
The following is a rendition of 'the detective'; one of many and not my favorite, but I like the illustration. I haven't been able to decide on a face. Not sure how distinct or pudding-like I should go with. The others have a bogart-esqueness to them, complete with melting jowls.
Spoiler alert: The below is the last thing he dreams before he wakes in the burn-ward; his burnt up wife.
And lastly, a small panel from the first few pages.
I hope you've all been enjoying this as much as I. This has been quite a learning experience thus far, and I have a ways to go. I hope you'll continue to check in once in. More soon.
